Dave Morin

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
The government includes you in a cooperative with your neighbor and you are
required to teach him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You are told to wait in line (for hours) to get it.
There isn’t much, it’s expensive and it’s sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a huge herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man
in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your
government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the
other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows and are surprised
when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are
reducing expenses, and your expanding into the beef industry.
The stock doubles, you agree to a golden parachute and sell your stock.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good except for those Americans.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You genetically engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately, when they are incredibly expensive to maintain and they demand
13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don’t know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You invite her for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really had.

Just got back in from Mexico late last evening. If all of you Mexico lovers haven’t checked out Puerto Vallarta yet, I highly suggest it. It’s an amazing combination of beaches, mountains, and romance. Although the water is not as crystal green/blue as on the other side, it makes up for it in the ambience of the mountains. With cobblestone streets, little hidden away restaurants, and absolutely crazy cool locals it’s definately a place to check out. I hope that everyone out there is doing absolutely wonderful wherever you may be. Life is wonderful.