Dave Morin - On marriage and personal branding.

On marriage and personal branding.

A random thought on my mind over the last week or so has been centered around why women are forced to give up the personal brand equity they have built into their names when they get married. I may be too innovative, or something, but I kind of think this is pseudo-ludacris in todays world.

In a month, one of my best girl friends, who also happens to be a very close work associate (we’ve worked together for close to 4 years), is getting married. Soon after, she’ll take her new husbands name, and be forced to embark on a personal PR/marketing campaign to inform the business world of her new brand.

She’s very talented, always dependable, a veritable work horse. People trust her brand, and know where to find her. Soon, they’ll have to learn to trust a new brand. A brand that was built by someone else.

It’s timely that in my previous post I was discussing my great friends John and Malgosia, the couple behind Nuvvo, and authors of a great blog called Married-Inc. As I was going through their blog archives, I stumbled across a great post on just this topic from Malgosia. She hate’s being referred to as Mrs. [Insert Husbands Name Here] (though she doesn’t mind the name change as much). And, I absolutely agree.

Why should a woman be forced to take the name of her husband and eliminate her own personal brand equity in favor of her husbands personal brand? What if she’s got a great blog? Where do married domain names go to die at this juncture? Do you change the domain? Change your blog? Change your brand? Should personal brand equity advisors exist, that compare the equity built into both brands and the implications of combining them? An interesting thought.

This bothers me. And, I’m interested in every woman’s opinion on this. Do you feel the same way? Is it ok just to accept the status quo, the “old fashioned” way to do things? Do you not have a right to your own personal brand without the shadow of your husbands?

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This entry was posted on Friday, June 30th, 2006 at 11:53 pm and is filed under Life. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Clementine

Interesting to refer to it as a personal brand. I come from a family where my mother did not change her name, and still to this day I am asked if she is my step-mom. Second, I have wondered if I achieve success or people know me by my name (Lord like God) would I change it. I think I would...not for everything. Leagally my name would be different, but socially and professionally I don't think it would be. I think that is where things have changed. My grandmother likes to be referred to as Mrs. Ed Mudd. There she has no identity. I on the other hand will always be Clementine. Most people don't even know my last name so if I were to change it, I don't think it would make much difference. (I had one person say they just put me in a class of one name wonders, like Shakira, Cher, Madonna...) So I am all in favor of keeping personal brands, but every brand changes their image at a time, maybe its just like 2 companies merging. You are still known by your old name even though your name and image have changed.

I don't know if this makes sense, but its a great thing to think about. Thanks Davey!

John Philip Green

As Clementine points out, things get complicated with children. A cohesive family is easily recognizable by a uniform last name.

Hyphenated-names can solve the problem for one generation, but it doesn't scale.

Maybe when people get married they should both abandon their personal brands and form a new one! That is, both adopt a new last name.

We did this to a small degree--Malgosia & I abandoned any personal blogs and started http://married-inc.com/. We even considered moving to one email address (seriously!) but we too often need to send stuff to each other.

This solution would scale well. It would complicate the work of geneologists, but what's more important?

Ashley

Great question.... I have actually changed my name twice since being married. Right after I was married, I changed my name dropping my "maiden name" (old last name) all together. The more I thought about it, I felt as though I was letting go of all of my heritage and all that I love about my family. So I proceeded to change my name again, now with my maiden name as my middle name and my husband's last name as my last name (similar to a hyphenation, but without the long-winded complication).

As previously mentioned, the issue is not so much about equality as it is about legality [with children]. There are a myriad of legal issue with parents and children who do not have the same last name (think hospitals, school systems, etc.). But that is not to say that the woman should automatically take her husband's last name... My Uncle and Aunt had the right idea in terms of simple equality- they flipped a coin. Whoever won the coin toss was the owner of their new last name upon marriage. My uncle won, but there was a 50/50 chance that he would have taken my Aunt's last name.

As far as your terminology... I don't know that many women who take their husband's last name consider it "branding" in the same capacity as a product, company or when referring to the burning of cattle's flesh. I consider myself to be a single entity regardless of my last name. If we are going to discuss names as playing a roll in success or failure, we would have to do a comparative review of all of the men who have succeeded or failed based upon their family's namesake. If you are good at what you do, people know you and will find you- no matter what your last name is.

In closing, I will say that I sincerely appreciate you thinking about this topic for more than a fleeting moment, and appreciate you blogging about it even more ;)

Mollie Sterling-Oakleaf

Dave--Thank you for making the same argument I've been making for a couple of years now. And for the record--molliesterling.com redirects to mollieoakleaf.com :)

Bill Seitz

I'm always kinda surprised that the majority of women still change their last names.

My wife kept her "maiden" name.

We considered the hyphenation thing for the kids, but decided that just got too silly, and we went semi-conventional on that (they officially have "my" last name, and her last name is one of their middle names).

Alonna

Although this topic may inspire dramatic controversy, I believe you've all lost your minds. Either you do or you don't take your spouse's last name, regardless of gender, and if you don't, as a woman, BFD. It's not a friggin' brand. But legally, I think we should be able to copyright our last names if we're popular enough in high school to make homecoming king or queen, or football/chearleading captain.

And Ashley, I'm glad to know that I can legally keep my "maiden name." It's sad to me that you wasted yours and my precious moments of life helping me understand what a maiden name is.

Bill, Molly, Ashley, do you really need to be this dramatic? Your kids will be more traumatized by your lack of common sense than any choice of name you may screw up while giving them.

Clem, I expected more from you, and Helenans generally...

"If the shoe doesn't fit, must we change the foot?"

Your favorite feminist/activist
- Gloria Steinem

Toni

I just read your blog about this and my post is a wee bit late, but I just thought I would voice my own opinion as traditional as it might be. I am married and I did take my husband's last name. I do not think it's that big of a deal but I personally think for me it was out of honor and respect for my husband and now that we have children I could not love more that we all have the same last name and I think it would be odd and strange to not have the same last name. Seems sort of like a circle that just has a break or kink in it. Just my opinion but I thought I would share.

emmadini

Interesting topic. Two of my close girlfriends and I discussed this once. I asked the question, “What will you do with your last name when you get married?”

One replied, “Oh, I’m definitely keeping mine.” (And she did.)

The other replied, “I’m hyphenating mine.” (She still stands by this.)

The turned and asked me, “What about you, Emma?” I replied, “I’m taking my husband’s name, of course.” They were both surprised. I suppose I do come across as more liberal than I actually am.

Then I thought about it—why is something traditional considered old-fashioned? I agree that some social decorum may be considered out-dated, but some of it is kind of fun.

I like when the fellows open the door for me. I am perfectly capable of opening doors for myself, but I take it as a sweet gesture.

I think it’s cute when the fellows walk on the outside edge of the sidewalk, in case a runaway car jumps the curb, he can push me out of the way. If a car jumps a curb, it would suck for the both of us, but still…it’s cute.

Social decorum is that the woman takes the husband’s last name, but it’s not forced upon us. For the most part, I feel that people who are involved in your life, people you wish to stay involved in your life, would know that you were getting married and know that a name change may be coming. Besides, don’t most women just put their names in parentheses on Facebook? ;-)

I look forward to the day I join my husband’s brand. Perhaps I could kick it up a notch or two. ;-)

Excellent topic.