When you made this post I had a cross-generational cathartic moment.

“When I was a kid, I used to spend a lot of time on my Mac computer after school and through the night. I would generally do whatever fit my fancy on any given day. But more often than not it meant programming, hanging in IRC, or exploring what would become the Internet.

My parents would inevitably yell down to my room, “time for dinner!” To which I would respond, “ok, just a minute!” I would then continue doing whatever I was doing on the computer until my parents would inevitably get pretty mad that I hadn’t come to eat dinner yet. I think most of my generation probably knows exactly what I’m talking about ”

The comments below are my own opinion, and do not reflect those of my employers, clients, or family.

I was born in 1950. When I was a boy, my mom used to get upset when my dad wanted to watch the news at the dinner table. When is intrusion of technology at mealtime a benefit, and when is it a curse? I sense some differences of opinion across generations.

My parents aren’t the ones calling me for dinner these days, my wife is. She is a female baby boomer and technology conservative. Time delays because I am in flow on the web are frustrating for her. We have a strong rule, no iPhones or laptops at the table – although Jill is fine if we both watch TV while we eat.

I bought an iPhone the first day it shipped, recently upgraded. You are right that it is an amazing platform. I have told many people that it is my favorite product of all time. Period.

However, a word of caution: I also use “just a minute” when immersed on the Internet on my laptop and then sometimes take hours to come to breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Based on a sample of our marriage, and talking to several dozen spouses in other couples in three generations, bringing a laptop. iPhone, or anything else do dinner will not please family members or business associates who are not similarly… um… connected? Er… addicted?

My Rx for use of iPhone at mealtime when considering cross-generational social chasms:

For those eating with friends or family members who are baby boomers or older: Be careful! Even an iPhone sometimes needs to be put on mute and even left in the other room to enjoy a meal “fully present” with someone we love.

A meal with all Gen Y goes by different rules. Most members of Gen Y can multi-process enough that an iPhone at the table can actually stimulate a lively dinner conversation!

A meal with all Gen X is a mixed bag, as some are web and broadband wireless enabled, and others are not. Beware of same-generation digital divides.

To be safe in all settings, simply ask: “What are the guidelines about bringing TVs, iPhones, digital cameras, and other media devices to the dinner table?” Then adapt to local rules. You will win friends, build trust, and enjoy some amazing experiences.

But keep the iPhone handy to take pictures that celebrate the meal, or to show your photos to conservatives who often want to see pictures of your friends and family. Tasteful photos and taking photos are pretty safe bets, no matter how old your meal mates are, and no matter where they are from (Note: some cultures forbid taking pictures).

Sharing music videos is also a great way to build community and trust around a dinner table. However, music it may also lead to conflict because of the many cross-generational conflicts around what constitutes “good music.”

Sorry for the long comment. Your insightful post really struck a nerve!

Thanks,
Tom Kosnik

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